It's Not Really Like That
by Submerged in Darkness
Summary: Oneshot. Ventus gets drunk for the first time. VenVan. Rated T for alcohol and some bad language.


Friday afternoons were pretty normal in small towns, especially so in the parking lot of Destiny High, where everyone discussed their weekend plans. It's usually the same: have a party with all your friends, then spend the next day with a huge hangover. But not for me. My name is Ventus Koharu, and I'm a loser. You know, short guy, bookworm, teachers pet, that's me. And if that isn't bad enough, I have a twin brother who is the exact opposite of me: he's the cool, rebellious type with people who respect him and girls who follow him around everywhere. Basically, everything I never had, he has it.  
He's been on so many dates before, and I've been on one (that one was a dare, so it hardly counts). And it's more than guaranteed that my brother is not a virgin. But guess who still is?  
It's not that big of a deal to me, I can wait. That's not the thing that annoys me. What annoys me is that I am the only guy in my family who doesn't like women.  
That's right, I am a homosexual. A short, nerdy homo. Why don't you just yell it from the rooftops or something?  
And no, my brother does not know.  
Why would I tell him? No need to make my life more embarrassing. It's difficult enough for me. Do you know how hard it is in Phys Ed, to walk into the change room surrounded by a bunch of shirtless, pants-less guys and want to touch them, or at the very least say something, but then you realize you can't because you are also a guy who happens to be a weird homosexual?  
Yeah, you should feel sorry for me.

I found out about my, uh, issue a couple years ago. It was the start of 8th grade, and I was excited to go back to school (yeah, you already know I'm a nerd). I really wanted to make some new friends. Actually, I needed to make new friends. Okay, I just needed friends.  
His name was Terra. Tall, long brown hair, and a serious disposition. I thought he was so cool, and desperately wanted to be his friend. Once I got through his serious layer, he was super friendly, and we became great friends. It was all going fine, until one afternoon we were hanging out at the park, studying for an upcoming exam (like I said: nerd). It was nothing special, or out of the ordinary. But when he smiled at me, it set something off inside me, like a bomb. And my feelings exploded.  
Without even thinking about it, I kissed him (I said I went on one date, I didn't say anything about not kissing anyone). You can guess what happened after that : I lost the only friend I had, and had the most awkward situation on my hands. I don't regret the kiss though, it was the best five seconds of my life. A few months later, he moved away, which was kind of relieving, because I didn't really want anyone to find out about me. And to this day, no one except Terra knows my secret (I doubt he would tell anyone, the situation was embarrassing for the both of us). I've never tried anything like that since then, but that doesn't mean I haven't been looking for someone.  
There are a few I've kept my eye on, but so far, none of them are for me.  
There's Axel Rikgi, a tall redhead with these wicked face tattoos. He's really hot and everything, but he's a bit of a pedophile, so I decided against it. Sora Hiyashi is another. He has the brightest smile in school, and his eyes are a beautiful cerulean colour, but all he does is study, plus he's really short (I'm a hypocrite, I know). Riku Sakura is really tall, and really, really gorgeous (those long silver waves of hair get me every time) but he is much too serious for me. Once, a group of boys were beating up a puppy, and he didn't even care, or cry. I, of course, did both. I really love puppies okay? These days, I just try my hardest to go unnoticed, which is pretty easy considering my nerd status. I can usually blend in without much effort.  
That is, if I don't run into a certain someone.  
I tried to sneak by his locker, but no luck.  
"Hey there Ventus."  
Damn, he saw me.

There was one name I forgot to mention, and his name is Vanitas Nishida. My best friend.  
Why am I trying to avoid him? Because I don't want a repeat of my last friendship. Yes, I have a crush on my best friend. What did you expect? But he's perfect, with his spiky black hair, golden eyes, and perfect body (seriously perfect). He's really laid back, a bit of a rebel, and he's a pro skateboarder. I'm amazed he actually wanted to be friends with me in the first place. He's so perfect, and I'm so weird and homo. Even though he's kind of sarcastic sometimes, underneath he's an awesome person. Today he was dressed in loose fitting jeans, black converse shoes, and the navy blue hoodie I bought him for Christmas. I love when he wears it.  
Well, I suppose there's no avoiding him now.  
"Oh, um, hey Vanitas."  
"Trying to avoid me again?" He smirked.  
I felt my face get hot. He's so cute when he smirks.  
"No, I just have to get home, and uh, do my chores."  
"Since when do you have chores? I know the real reason you don't want to talk to me."  
Oh shit. He knows? If that's the case, I'm going to die of embarrassment and shame.  
"Y-You do?"  
Vanitas laughed. "Of course. You've been trying to avoid this for most of high school."  
Oh. My. God. He does know! What the heck am I supposed to do now? Should I confess? Apologize?  
"Listen, it's not what you think..." I began, my palms sweating.  
"No, it's exactly what I think. You can't go through all of high school without going to at least one party."  
Wait, what?  
So this whole thing was just about my social anxiety?  
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, right, you want me to go to that stupid party."  
"It won't be stupid! It's the epic end of the year party where EVERYONE MUST ATTEND!" Vanitas cried, exasperated.  
"Well I'm not everybody." I replied nonchalantly.  
Vanitas smiled at me. "I know that, but you've never been to a real party. No offence, but that's kind of sad."  
"Vanitas, you know why I don't like social gatherings." I frowned. "They're SOCIAL. Meaning I have to leave the comfort that is my room and go hang out with people I'd rather not talk to."  
Vanitas sighed. "That's always your excuse. C'mon, it won't be any fun without you."  
I snorted. "Yeah, I'm just the most interesting person."  
"That may or may not be true, but you're my best friend. I won't go unless you do."  
"Hey, don't guilt trip me into this."  
He put his hands on my shoulders.  
"If you don't suck it up and go to this one party, I'll have no choice but to shove you in a locker and leave you there over summer vacation." He said in mock seriousness.  
I laughed nervously. "You wouldn't actually do that, would you?" I knew he was way stronger than me.  
"Only if I have to." He laughed.  
"Is my brother going to to be there?"  
Vanitas was silent.  
"I'm not going if he's going."  
"Please Ven." He whispered.  
I looked at him. His golden eyes were so gorgeous in the hallway light. Actually, they were gorgeous in any kind of light.  
Oh, the things I do for attractive people.  
"Fine. I'll go. But only if Roxas isn't a douche."  
Vanitas smirked.  
"I wouldn't count on that."

A few hours later, I was on my way to the party with Vanitas, and I was a nervous wreck. I haven't been to a party since kindergarten, and that was a disaster.  
I was friends with this girl (shocker) and she invited my brother and I to her sixth birthday party. We were both really excited, as it was our first time over at a friends house. I wanted her to like my present, so after school I ran home, emptied my piggy bank and went to the toy store with my mom and my brother. I was very careful in choosing something I thought a girl would like, but in the end my mom had to help me pick (apparently girls don't like race cars). She helped in selecting a soft stuffed kitten, complete with a little pink bow and a crown.  
Even when he was little, my brother was an asshole. He wanted to make sure his present was the best, and so he replaced my present without me knowing, and by the time I found out it was too late. She opened my present, and instead of a fluffy cat toy, there was a box filled with dirt, complete with pink worms crawling around. I felt so bad, I cried for days. I apologized to her over and over, but needless to say, she hated me after that.  
What I'm saying is, the reason I avoid parties is entirely my brothers fault. That's why I really don't want him coming to this party, even though I'm positive he'll be there.

Vanitas pulled into the driveway of a very large house. Vehicles were already scattered across the lawn, and music blared from the inside of the house. My heart began to beat faster.  
"You ready for this?" He asked, shutting off the car.  
"Uh, no I'm not."  
He smiled. "You can do it, you've made it this far."  
I took a deep breath and got out of the car. We walked up to the house and opened the door. People were everywhere, chatting, drinking, and dancing.  
"Ok I went in. Can we leave now?!" I cried.  
Vanitas sighed. "Ventus, I understand this must be hard for you. But we can't leave yet, we just got here."  
I grabbed onto his sleeve.  
"Vanitas." I whispered.  
He looked at me with concern. "I...ok, tell you what: we'll only stay for an hour. Then I'll take you home."  
"Thank you so much!"  
"But in the meantime, why don't you try to enjoy yourself?"  
"So avoid screaming internally? I'll do my best." I replied, taking off my jacket.  
"Great! Oh, and try not to drink too much." He smirked, then disappeared into the crowd of people.  
Great, the only reason I actually came to this party was to hang out with Vanitas, and now he's gone.

I wandered around a little. Whoever's house this was, it was huge. Eventually I stumbled into a room with a bar, complete with a flat screen tv larger than me, and a chandelier.  
"Jeez, if I had this much money I'd buy a jet and leave this place!" I muttered.  
Someone placed their hand on my shoulder. I turned, expecting to see Vanitas, but instead I saw the one person I had hoped to avoid tonight.  
"Wow, I didn't expect to see you here brother." He sneered.  
"Hello Roxas." I sighed. He held a drink in one hand, and the other was wrapped around the waist of this black haired girl I've never seen before.  
Just like my brother, picking up girls everywhere he goes.  
"Shouldn't you be home studying?" Roxas snickered. A couple of other people joined in with his laughter.  
"In case you've forgotten, it's the end of the year. I don't need to study anymore." I said, gritting my teeth.  
"Why are you here, exactly?" His eyes shining with amusement.  
"I'm here to enjoy myself. Unfortunately, I will not be staying long, so while I'm here, I want to have fun. And I don't think I'll find it here." I replied coolly.  
"What are you talking about? This is happiness station, what with all the wonderful refreshments."  
He took a thin bottle and poured a small amount into 4 small glasses.  
"Here, drink these."  
I stared at the glasses, disgusted. "You want me to drink those? I'd rather not poison myself."  
Roxas laughed. "What, you can't drink four little drinks? Don't be a chicken wuss."  
I clenched my fists. "I'm not a wuss."  
"Sure you are! You're nearly done school and yet, you've never played on a sports team, you've never been to a party, and you've never been kissed."  
He was wrong about the last one, but I wasn't about to tell him that story.  
The crowd of people started to laugh and point at me. It reminded me of something; something I've been trying not to think about :  
My brother will always be better at things than me, and I'll always come in second place.  
I've always been stuck in my brothers shadow, but not anymore.  
I am not a wuss.  
In an impulse decision, I grabbed the glasses and emptied all four of them.  
"YEAH!You go brother!" Roxas shouted. The crowd around him whooped and cheered.  
The room suddenly began to spin. I grabbed onto the counter. My brother started laughing.  
"You retard!" He roared. "Do you realize how much alcohol was in those? You're gonna get so drunk!"  
Damn it, this is why I hate him.  
"And I see you're still an asshole." I muttered.  
"Aww, c'mon Ventus. I'm not an asshole in general, I just don't like you."  
I swore under my breath. I had to get away from that dick wad. I decided to explore the house a bit more, but it was getting difficult as my vision was blurred.

I managed to stumble my way up the stairs, and I decided I should use the washroom. There were so many rooms, and I had no idea which one contained a toilet.  
The first three doors I opened were nothing but closets, but the fourth one I opened had a bedroom inside, with two people sitting on it.  
I blinked. It was Riku and Sora. Wait, were they kissing?  
I rubbed my eyes, then looked again. Nope, they were full on making out.  
Without even thinking I blurted out what I was thinking.  
"You guys are GAY?!"  
Suddenly realizing I was there, they separated themselves quickly.  
"Well, uh, yeah. I guess." Sora shrugged. Riku was silent, but the look on his face said 'Obviously we are'.  
"Great, so I could've gone for either of you after all!" I groaned.  
"What you mean?" Sora asked.  
"Nothing. I'll, uh, let you guys get back to whatever you were doing." Before they could respond, I ran out and shut the door behind me.  
The walls were spinning like crazy now. I sat down on the carpeted floor.  
What was I thinking coming to this party? All I wanted was to prove to Vanitas that I...  
Vanitas...  
Then I blacked out.

"Where the hell is Ven?" I muttered.  
It had been over two hours since I last saw him, and he didn't really seem to be enjoying his time.  
'I hope he didn't get himself into trouble.' I thought. Odds are he probably ran into his brother, then maybe...  
Wait.  
Roxas.  
I ran towards the bar area, and sure enough, he was there.  
"Ah, Vanitas." Roxas smiled. "Are you having fun?"  
"Cut the crap Roxas." I growled. "Where the hell is Ventus?"  
"Oh! Didn't you know?" He laughed. "It seems my dear brother got himself a bit too drunk."  
I clenched my fists. "What did you do to him?"  
Roxas chuckled. "Go see for yourself." He gestured towards the living room, where people were crowding around something.  
I dashed over and pushed through the crowd, only to find Ventus in the middle dancing.  
Ventus. Dancing.  
Yep, he was drunk alright.  
The crowd around him clapped and cheered.  
"Alright guys! Let's have a parrrrrty!" He yelled. His dancing was uncoordinated and sloppy. If he knew what he was doing, well, he wouldn't be doing it.  
"Ventus!" I shouted. He stopped dancing and turned towards me.  
"Ohhhhh there you are Vani!" He grinned.  
Did he just call me Vani?  
"Dude, you are so drunk right now. We need to get you home."  
"But Vaniiiiiii, I'm having so much fuuuuun!" His words were slow and hard to understand.  
"No, we are getting you out of here, right now." I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the crowd of people.  
"Do you love me Vani?" He giggled.  
"Because I love youuuuuu."  
"Ventus, you are drunk. You don't know what you're saying." I sighed.  
"Noooo, it's true. I don't like girls." He whispered.  
Wait.  
"What?!" I gasped.  
"I DON'T LIKE GIRLS!" He yelled.  
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at us.  
"Ventus, are you being serious?" I whispered.  
"Uh-huh." He nodded his head enthusiastically. "I'm a homosexual!"  
Roxas emerged from the crowd. "WHAT?! YOU ARE? THATS JUST TOO PERFECT!" He began to laugh hysterically.  
"I always thought you were weird, but this is golden!"  
I balled my fists in anger. "Gee, I wonder why he never told you."  
Roxas walked up to me. "So Vanitas," he snickered. "Is it your turn to come out of the closet now?"  
The crowd erupted in laughter. I clenched my teeth, and without thinking, I walked right up to him and punched him right in the stomach. He immediately doubled over in pain, and I kicked him to the ground.  
"I hope your happy, you worthless bastard." I grabbed Ventus. "C'mon, we're taking you home."  
"Okaaaaay." He singsonged.  
"Bye bye Roxas!" He said, waving.  
Roxas didn't reply. He was in too much pain to respond.

As we were driving home, Ventus spoke.  
"Are you mad Vani?" He whispered.  
"Well, no. Not at you, anyway. I'm more pissed off at your brother."  
"Well you sure showed him!" He laughed. "I've always wanted to do that, then you did and it was awesome!"  
"He definitely deserved it." I smiled.  
We stopped at Ventus's house and I took the keys out of his pocket. We went inside and I led Ventus to his room. I made sure he was in bed and the light was switched off.  
"Are you going to be ok by yourself?" I asked.  
"Yeah." He murmured. "Goodnight Vanitas."  
I looked over at him. He was already fast asleep.  
"Goodnight Ven." I whispered, kissing his forehead.

Sunlight flooded into my bedroom. I shielded my sensitive eyes, then glanced at the clock. It was 12:30. My parents were both already at work.  
Why did I sleep in so late?  
Then I remembered :  
the party, Vanitas, and making an utter fool of myself. A headache rattled my brain with extreme force, and I clutched my head in pain.  
How could I be so stupid? Vanitas knows everything about me liking him, and our friendship has been permanently damaged. I totally screwed up, and it's technically my brother's fault. If he hadn't pressured me into drinking those...  
Wait.  
Roxas.  
He knows I'm gay now. And he's never going to let me forget it.  
I have to get out of here before he wakes up.  
I quickly got dressed and brushed my teeth. Then I ran to the door, but forgot to open it, resulting in me completely running into it. My head throbbed even more now, but I managed to stumble out of my room into the kitchen. Guess who was there waiting for me?  
"Man, you look pathetic." Roxas laughed.  
"No thanks to you." I muttered, rubbing my forehead.  
"Aww, does Venny have a headache?" He grinned.  
"Don't call me that, you fucktard."  
"Here, this should help you." He walked over to the stereo, then turned it on full blast. It felt as though someone was hammering nails into my brain.  
"Turn...it...off...!" I cried.  
"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Roxas yelled.  
My head was rattling violently. It seemed like my head was going to explode. I fell to my knees in desperation.  
"Roxas, please!" I begged.  
"Turn it off!"  
He switched it off, still laughing.  
"You're such a wimp. And if that wasn't enough, you're also gay!"  
I started to get up, but Roxas pinned me down.  
"I always knew there was something extremely wrong with you, but I could never figure out what." He continued. I tried to escape his grip, but he was much stronger than me.  
"But it all makes sense now. Why you've never had a girlfriend, why you're so uncomfortable around guys..."  
Roxas was interrupted by the doorbell. He stood up and released me from his grasp.  
"I bet that's Xion. I gave her such a good time last night, she's probably back for more." He smirked.  
"Gross." I muttered.  
"You would think so!" He called over his shoulder.  
Damn it, he had a point.  
I could hear indistinct conversation coming from the other room. Roxas finally came back into the kitchen.  
"I was wrong. It's just your boyfriend." He sighed, grabbing a bowl and some cereal.  
Oh shit. Vanitas was here?  
"D-Did he say why...?"  
"No. He just told me to tell you to meet him at the skate park. Then he left."  
"Aw man. I'd better go then." I ran to the door, then remembering something important, I skidded back into the kitchen.  
"Roxas?"  
"What?"  
"How does my hair look?"  
"Um, it looks exactly like mine."  
"No, I mean...oh forget it, you've never been helpful, so why would you be helpful now?"  
I grabbed jacket off of the table and zipped it up.  
"Ventus!"  
"Yeah?"  
"Say hello to Vani for me will you?" Roxas chuckled. "Oh, and another thing: remember to use protection, you don't want to get pregnant."  
Anger rose within me. Enraged, I grabbed Roxas by his collar and punched him directly in the face, something I've wanted to do for years.  
"If anyone's going to get pregnant, brother, it's you." I said, smiling a little.  
"After all, you're the biggest cunt of them all."

As I approached the skate park, I began to walk slower. What was I even going to say?  
Sure enough, he was already there, waiting on a bench. I tried to turn around, but he saw me.  
"Hey Ventus." He waved, then gestured for me to sit.  
"Hi." I made sure not to sit too close to him. I didn't want to make him feel more uncomfortable than he already was.  
He handed me a brown paper bag from McDonalds.  
"Food is known to help with hangovers." He smiled. I opened the bag and emptied its contents.  
"I also bought you some Advil. I hope it helps."  
"Thank you. But why are you being so nice to me?" I asked, taking a bite of a hamburger.  
Vanitas gave me a confused look. "Because you're my best friend."  
"Still? I thought that after last night you wouldn't want anything to do with me."  
"Why? Because you have a crush on me? That's a pretty stupid reason not to stay friends."  
"Won't this make things really awkward?"  
"Not if we don't let feelings get in the way." He replied.  
It would be really difficult to do that. Actually, it's been difficult all along, but now that he knows, what's the point?  
"Yeah, I suppose." I muttered.  
"Unless, that is, we wanted our feelings in the way." Vanitas whispered, sliding closer until we were side by side.  
"W-What do you mean?" I stuttered.  
He leaned forward so that our faces were inches apart.  
"You know exactly what I mean, Ventus Koharu." He murmured, caressing my cheek softly.  
In an instant, our lips met. The kiss was gentle and diminutive, but the meaning behind it was much bigger. We separated, and I was at a loss for words.  
"Vanitas..."  
"Hey, don't think you're the only one that has feelings around here." He laced his fingers with mine.  
"But..."  
"There was no one else. You seem to be the only one that really understands me. I didn't know if you would ever feel the way I did, and it made me sad. I started to think I had to go after your brother." He grinned.  
"Ugh, I don't even want to think about that!"  
We laughed for a while, then I asked him,  
"So we're still friends then?"  
"Hmm, I don't think so."  
"But...you just kissed me!"  
"Do your friends do that often?"  
"Well no. But I only really have one friend, so I wouldn't know."  
"Well, I think that 'friend' status is getting a bit crusty. Maybe we could update it to 'boyfriend'?" Vanitas elbowed me suggestively.  
I felt my face get hot. "Man, you're bad at this." I laughed.  
"Well you're not giving me much to work with here!"  
"Just shut up and kiss me." I murmured wrapping my arms around him. He grinned and our lips met once more.

After we hung out at the park for a while, we decided to head back to Vanitas' house (I was about to suggest mine, but then I remembered my brother was probably still there).  
"You know," I said as we walked in the door. "We can take this slower if you want."  
"Relax you loser, we're just going to watch some television." Vanitas grabbed the remote and plopped himself on the couch.  
"So...Netflix and chill?" I asked, sitting down next to him.  
"Please don't bring memes into our relationship." He groaned.  
"Whatever you say." I smiled, snatching the remote from him. I picked a random channel, then curled up next to him, resting my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, and our hands clasped together.  
"This is the beginning of a perfect summer." I grinned.  
"A whole summer with you." Vanitas murmured softly.  
"I love you Vani."  
"God dammit, don't call me that."

*TWO MONTHS LATER*

Summer was over. Vanitas pulled into the school parking lot, and I held on to my seat.  
"You know Vanitas, there's this wonderful invention called 'brakes'." I teased.  
"Oh what do you know ya big loser?" He smirked. I just love it when he smirks.  
We got out of his car and walked up the steps to the front entrance.  
"Nervous?" Vanitas asked, squeezing my hand.  
"Nah. I don't really care what people think anymore. I love you more than anything else."  
"Even your brother?"  
"Definitely." I smiled.  
We now stood directly in front of the entryway  
"Well you can at least tell him you're no longer a virgin. That ought to make him jealous." Vanitas grinned.  
"Well, I have you to thank for that."  
The bell rang, and students started to file into the school.  
"You ready?" He asked.  
"Of course." I replied confidently.  
Hand in hand, we opened the door and began a new year.  
[A/N: How cute was that guys? Like always, leave a review if you liked it, and if you have any suggestions for future stories, let me know!]


End file.
